While spending so much time on a plane, I have been reading some great books lately. Mark and I both read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I have gotten this for several couples as engagement gifts but had never read it myself. I really enjoyed this book as we both prepare to spend the rest of our lives together and share our love for one another. I want to make sure my husband knows how much I love him. And I want to know what he desires and how I need to speak his love language so that he knows and sees my love for him. Everyone talks about how the "in love" experience fades after your married. I don't think that has to be the case. I believe this book will help us keep that "in love" experience much longer. I have listed The Five Love Languages below. The book goes into much greater detail on each language.
1. Words of Affirmation -- Your love tank is full when your spouse is showing appreciation to you, thanking you for the things you do, sharing words of encouragement, using words that build up (Thank you, I am so proud of you, You look very nice in that suit)
2. Quality Time -- You desire spending time with your spouse, probably not watching TV or multitasking but true quality time where you have conversation with one another and nothing is distracting you, giving your undivided attention.
3. Receiving Gifts -- You like receiving gifts from your spouse. These gifts don't always have to be expensive, they can be your favorite candy bar, a simple card, which he took time to pick out specifically for you.
4. Acts of Service -- Here your love tank is full when your spouse shows an act of service. He mows the yard, washes dishes after dinner, irons your clothes, or does the laundry.
5. Physical Touch -- This is self explanatory - you desire to be touched by your spouse. This could be holding hands, reaching out to you as he passes by, or randomly kissing your cheek.
I suggest this book to anyone in a serious relationship, engaged or married. It really can bring out some things you may not otherwise know about your spouse and what makes them tick. You could possibly be speaking your language but not the language of your spouse. Things you may be doing, could be meaningless to your spouse. If they desire Acts of Service and all you are doing is giving them gifts to show your love, you are not speaking the correct love language. Although, giving gifts may be your love language, it's unlikely that that is also your spouses love language. Read the book and take the test to find your love language, you may be surprised, but it could help or strengthen your relationship.
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