Healing

Be prepared, this is a long one................So the two weeks of me doing absolutely nothing were horrible. It's not like me to be in the bed and down for the count for days and days. My emotions went up and down. I knew I had to be strong, positive, hard-headed, determined, and independent to get through this, which is what I was.....most of the time. Then I had my down times where I was so upset that I had to be in bed and couldn't do anything, I was depressed, I felt guilty for putting Mark through all this (he was in charge of cooking and cleaning), I wanted my mom to be here, I wanted to be out of pain, I wanted to get comfortable........I wanted to be normal. Then I would have to snap out of it and thank God that my injury was minor compared to what it could have been.

I can't tell you how many times I've ran the events of that day over in my head. I could have not come up out of the water, I could be paralyzed, I could have had to have surgery, I could be in a wheelchair, you fill in the blank.  There are so many shoulda, coulda, woulda's.

After about a week and a half, I wanted so badly to get back to work and into the routine that was normal for me. It was the doctor's orders to be in bed, at home, for the first week. I took it upon myself to do the same for week 2. I could have easily pushed myself (which I've done many times) and hurt myself even more. I opted to take care of myself on the front-end, hopefully that means less on the back-end (later in my older years). On week 2. I could pretty much stay up, with my brace, for 1-2 hours at a time. I tried to check email and help Mark out with what I could during that time.  I finally built my tolerance up to half days. I went back to work and just did what I could. I'm so thankful to have a job in which I can do from home and just have the flexibility while I try to get back into the swing of things. They even altered my work station in which I could stand OR sit, whichever felt most comfortable.

The time has, of course, been dragging for me. You saw the nice brace, a.k.a. Shelly, in the previous post. I am able to wear that under my clothes but man are my wardrobe options limited. Especially since it's summer, I feel like everything is low cut (or enough to show Shelly anyway), dark colored (Shelly is white), or just looks silly. During this time I also have a beach trip (swimsuit?  probably not), wedding, concert and my 10 year high school reunion. Nice, great timing, Katie!

As a matter of fact, I went shopping for a dress for the wedding (thank goodness I'm not IN it), and I just came home pissed. I didn't like anything I put on. I either looked like a marshmallow, it was cut too low or I had to go up in a size for it to fit. UGH!! So, I just have to get over it and move on!

My friends and family have been awesome! I've had phone calls, text messages, emails, meals, treats and many prayers. I don't think they gave me credit for how daring I was. :)  The highlight of most days was being able to FaceTime with Drew. He can light up anyone's world!

Proverbs 17:17 A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.

My friend, Stacy, recommended that I read 90 Minutes in Heaven. I have all this time now, ya know. It's a story about a preacher who was in a car accident, believed he went to heaven and lived to tell about it. He explained his emotions, the months and months of recovery, relationships with his family and friends, and how he coped. I really could relate to some of the story. The main thing that really hit home was when he was in the hospital and he had had several visitors, all wanting to help in someway. A long time friend was visiting, saw his actions and told him to get his act together, people were trying to help and all he was doing was saying no. He made a deal that he would start letting people do things for him. We too had several generous people offering to help in any way, cook dinner, clean the house, stay with me, take me to my doctor's appointments, and bring work over. Mark and I both always said "No, that's ok, we're fine."  I thought we were, we were making it. I didn't like the feeling of not being able to do something for myself.
The point in the book was that he was not treating the people that loved him most very good. If they could heal him, they would. If they could change places with him, many of them would. If he asked them to do anything, they would without hesitating. As a pastor, he had spent most of his life ministering to others, to meet their needs, help them during times of difficulty and now he was doing a terrible job of letting those people do the same for him. I too was being selfish and didn't even realize it. I'm not sure how many people we said no to but if I could do it all over, I would. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone just know that it was not intentional.

So as you can see this has really been hard for me, it's been a long road. I now only have 24 days until I get this brace off. I am recovering well, back at work full time, I'm able to be up all day (even watch movies after work with Mark), I'm cooking and cleaning again, well on my way to getting back to my normal.

Oh, one funny thing I did want to mention. I'm on the board of MPI (Meeting Professionals International), a professional organization I'm involved with so everyone was fully aware of my accident. I went to a meeting last month and we always have door prizes at the end of the meetings. Well my name was called for, get this......whitewater rafting tickets!  The crowd was yelling "No, don't give them to her. She can't have them." I took them anyway, I'll be ready by Spring, right?

Thank you to all of my friends and family that have been supportive, praying for me and there for me during all this.